joysoftruth

I got angry a-year-and-a-half ago. I think, for the most part, justifiably so. But, I'm also a different person. There's a lot that goes into shaping and defining a person. Their history is only half the battle. I typically use a trial-and-error approach to all my issues, but the game of life is not a take-it-back-and-try-again kind of game. No reset button. I'm not proud of who I've been. I started over a while ago, but I wanted to announce that publicly on here.

I no longer use this account. A vast group of people are not fans of me. I don't know what each individual person believes about me - I've heard rumours one way or the other - I've even been openly accused of a few horrifying things. I could sit here and defend myself, but since I've lived life with my guard down, I have no alibi. Yeah, my guard is up now. I've been betrayed, lied to, stolen from and socially destroyed by people I've trusted so many times that I've decided to grow a pair.

If you've lied about me, stolen from me, made me out to be a person I'm not, or generally betrayed me, go fuck yourself. <3

Anyway. I would hope against natural human sociality that no one would judge me based on anyone's words but my own, and the words I mean and say here and now. As I said, I no longer use this account. I've changed to the secondary account I made ages ago. Ichbezogenheit. There are quite a few friendships I miss on here. The only way to reopen those doors are if I at least knock on them. If there's no answer, no worries - I'll move on.

I'm also trying to reopen the doors to my artistic side. One problem I've always had is that I've never been able to interpret what's going on inside my fucked up mind onto paper, into words or even into my own comprehension. I think that's why I love abstract art so much. But, when I closed my accounts I also closed doors. One thing I found myself halfway decent at was at least community-oriented activities. On that note:

I'd like to publicly apologize for getting rid of the original Thinking Man Project. I'll put the Dr. Evil Project back up - but I really do feel shitty about taking them down. They weren't my pieces of art. They were community collaborations that I was proud to host on my profile. I'm sorry.

Anyway, if you believe in second chances, come find me on Ichbezogenheit. Hope to see some of you guys around.

The ONLY critique I've EVER received on this website is gone with my sub. Now no one feels inclined to critique my work, which had always been my biggest goal on this site, simply because there's no 'critique' category in comments anymore.

...yeah. Fuck that. Bye.

_{I'm moving. If you find me, keep it between us. If you flip out over my lyrics, remember it's me. Incognito.}

When I can't even stay on my page (advertisement redirect) long enough to go to my own gallery, I'd say it's time to pack up and leave. I don't have money to pay for a sub, and I'd really rather no one buy one for me. If, in the future, I'm somehow able to afford one, I might come back. If you buy one for me, consider it wasted. Consider this a disclaimer.

I'll see you on dAmn.

I assumed that a 'third key' meant 'third full-timer'. Oh, I was so wrong. 'Third key' gets no benefits or pay raises where I'm at, only the ability to be in the store all by his/her lonesome, including open/close. SUCK.

So, I still have to find another job. I was just starting to love this job. SUCK.

But, I do get my paycheck tomorrow! 'tis hueg. Unfortunately, so are my debts. Management plzkthx.

bai.

the problem isn't that no one 'can'. It's that no one 'wants' to.

Also, my feet hurt like hell. I was told to go to work (45 minute drive one way) for only 'an hour or two' so that my boss could talk to me, but he left an hour before I got there, even knowing what time I was getting there. So, he called me to tell me our new training plan and to remind everyone else. 'If you WANT to work until close, go ahead' (just over an hour). So, I drove for an hour and a half, and worked for slightly less time. What the fuck?